I know this sounds a little wacky after we have all been steeped like tea bags in the waters of holiday commercialism. But the best gift we can give our loved ones is our presence. To be the gift.
It’s a simple decision to put aside our roles as brother or sister or as host or as student home for the holidays. To put aside all our expectations. To put aside resentments against family members. And to just BE with them. To show up as our presence.
Roles, behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and opinions are what we create. They are not who we are. When we take off these costumes and just let who we are become visible, we will be the luminous beings we truly are to all those who have honored us with their presence these holidays.
Some people associate the term presence with the same effort it takes to become a Jedi master. Kinda sad. To me it is as simple as just noticing. When we notice all that is around us, we are no longer in our anxious, work-a-day world thoughts and roles. We have become available to the vitalizing sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures of the holidays. We have become available to our families. We have become the gift.
And therein lies true beauty. And there is so much beauty to notice during the holidays.
If you’d like to be free of your addiction, please contact me at ValuesBasedRecovery@gmail.com. I work with people who suffer from alcohol and drug addiction as well as behavioral addictions such as food, porn, and gambling. I work with clients in person or on the Zoom live video platform.
RJ Handley, Addiction Recovery Coach