It was nearly 10 years ago that a Big Book quote came true for me: “Someday the [alcoholic] will be unable to imagine life with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do” (BB 152).
It may have seemed to others that my life was like a Lexus, but inside I was really a rusted out AMC Pacer. I was on the brink of bankruptcy after my business partner lost all our working capital in the stock market. My reaction was to descend deeper into abyss of my drinking.
I was literally a fall down drunk. Despite tearing my rotator cuff and then later breaking seven ribs in two drunken falls, I was too prideful to seek out AA for the help I desperately needed. Although I knew I was an alcoholic, I could not tolerate the stigma of being labeled one.
With my wife set on leaving me, my friends having abandoned me, and my credit card debt reaching $60,000, I lived a life of loneliness and despair that few non-alcoholics experience. In agony, I finally reached out to my alcoholic sister who encouraged me to attend an AA meeting. It is through AA and the grace of God that I got sober and remain so after 10 years.
So this blog is really my way of giving back to a program that literally saved my life. Like many of you, the 12 Steps were my portal into a spiritual awakening. Sponsorship keeps me involved in the program, but I continue to hunger for more inspired texts like the Big Book to nourish my spiritual growth. I have read many, and a year and a half ago I went back to school to become a Spiritual Life Coach.
Through this blog, I hope that I can share some of the spiritual truths that have brought a wonderful sense of joy and contentedness to my life.
If you’d like to be free of your addiction, please contact me at ValuesBasedRecovery@gmail.com. I work with people who suffer from alcohol and drug addiction as well as behavioral addictions such as food, porn, and gambling. I work with clients in person or on the Zoom live video platform.
RJ Handley, Addiction Recovery Coach